I restrain myself from you

A poem from a Yakuza gangster to a beautiful soulful girl he loved more than anything.

To you my love who I want to stay away from

Behind this dark curtain of my eyelids,

I still see that sparkle of life,
You don't know what you've fed me,
Eternal sunshine like hope of some kind.

I restrain myself from clinging on to you,
As I am bad omen of time,
The way I breath and the life I live,
is more like a victimless crime.

I don't want to drag your pure soul to hell,
It'll be tainted with blood and fear,
I won't get even a moment of happiness,
From my life if you disappear,
Yes I want you in my life,
But my curse forbids me,
If I may ever hurt you,
A drop of your tear might just kill me.

I'm so confused,
I'm so jealous,
of freedom, emotions & feelings you people can feel,
I'm just a monster without shame & guilt,
I'm not worth this life
It all should end with me.

Duuh...Marriage is menduksai

Menduksai is a Japanese word,
Meaning of it is not so absurd,
If you really want to know it's English reword,
It's 'pain in the ass'
ya you know what you heard.

Menduksai for me is the marriage yo,
Forceful, emotional trauma to the core,
I'm Working out my own stuff ho,
It might be a smack or a punch,
Or under the belt blow.

Please Let me clear one thing yo,
It's not marriage that I resent so,
It's why you get in the first place whoa,
Girl should be tres belle not beau.

I respect women more than you know,
I wanna get with someone with a brain and so,
Let me take some time off yo,
My life is a wreck now, wanna get into
the perfect flow.