I restrain myself from you

A poem from a Yakuza gangster to a beautiful soulful girl he loved more than anything.

To you my love who I want to stay away from

Behind this dark curtain of my eyelids,

I still see that sparkle of life,
You don't know what you've fed me,
Eternal sunshine like hope of some kind.

I restrain myself from clinging on to you,
As I am bad omen of time,
The way I breath and the life I live,
is more like a victimless crime.

I don't want to drag your pure soul to hell,
It'll be tainted with blood and fear,
I won't get even a moment of happiness,
From my life if you disappear,
Yes I want you in my life,
But my curse forbids me,
If I may ever hurt you,
A drop of your tear might just kill me.

I'm so confused,
I'm so jealous,
of freedom, emotions & feelings you people can feel,
I'm just a monster without shame & guilt,
I'm not worth this life
It all should end with me.

Duuh...Marriage is menduksai

Menduksai is a Japanese word,
Meaning of it is not so absurd,
If you really want to know it's English reword,
It's 'pain in the ass'
ya you know what you heard.

Menduksai for me is the marriage yo,
Forceful, emotional trauma to the core,
I'm Working out my own stuff ho,
It might be a smack or a punch,
Or under the belt blow.

Please Let me clear one thing yo,
It's not marriage that I resent so,
It's why you get in the first place whoa,
Girl should be tres belle not beau.

I respect women more than you know,
I wanna get with someone with a brain and so,
Let me take some time off yo,
My life is a wreck now, wanna get into
the perfect flow.

World of Death and Despair

A world so dreadful
Lifeless, without movement
Frozen and sinister it feels
Smiles on the faces of the dead

A mirthless grin
With a witchy intent
How dead I find myself
Going thru these lands of the dead

Skulls and bones caught up in a strand
Corpses missing either left or right hand
My mind is blank
with moments that don't fade
Why was I sent into
this dreadful land of the dead.

Feel like a zombie

I have been living astray,
without any hope to live or die,
i just pull myself with everything,
and with every painful step I cry,
Even though I withstand it
and I drag my feet forcefully,
with every bit of energy burning in me,
Yes, i feel like a zombie.

Let me show you the pain,
these scars have made me obtain,
this weight of the world,
which has turned me insane.

I'm disconnected with all the humans,
cause these memories hurt real bad,
even the ones borne from being kind,
I have destroyed everything that I had.

No ray of hope

I can't hear your voice,
no matter how hard I listen,
But my unspoken thoughts
Wrote itself in rhyme,
And now traveling towards you
through the passage of time.

I had lost true sight of myself
I had forgotten who we were
Not a single thought is lingering
Without that heavy weight of despair

I have indeed lost all hope
I have lost all the joy
The things that made me happy
Are long gone and locked away
underground in chains in the heart of this boy.

So you better stay away
Go on and don't look back
This madness isn't gonna stop
Unless my love
you give me a slap or a smack.

Let me be

There is an itch
Stinging my fingers
Blood lust is growing
On the anger that here lingers

Get away everyone
You don't wanna regret later
This man is a wolf
In the skin of a traitor

I'm here
Just to live alone
Don't patronize me
I'm the entity dark unknown

Don't poke the monster
I don't need your sympathy
I don't need any honor
Just let me be
Among the lively people
Who live free.

Open market of frustration

I tell you this,
Don't come crying to me,
Don't complain about world to me,
Price of your life is goin up and
it aint inflation,
Don't say anything
I'm not an open market of frustration.

Have an open mind,
Have a faith in self,
God is there to help you,
Don't put your prblms
up on somebody's shelf.

I'm also a human,
Created with a limit and control,
I may look calm and adaptive,
But This strain is reaching
way down to my soul.

Let's think logically
Let's think practically
It's a choice not a compulsion
It's a beginning not an end
So think from heart just for once
Think of me before it all ends
The matter is in your hand
Think of future and try to understand.